Chapter 3

Experiencing Grief: Grief Is So Disruptive. Fourteen pages into this little book and I have had many moments of not wanting to read because it brings my feelings too close, again. And, as in this chapter moments of, "yep, yep, yep." I marvel at the quantity of statements that ring true.

Grief will take the shape of a spiral. Indeed, I do revisit the grief and the refreshing times of not living in the grief. I do wonder about grief tempered by the joy of knowing Mom rests with Jesus but suspect it will come up in the text at some point. I wonder how those who do not have the hope of our futures lives in Christ cope with their grief.

"Grief disrupts your mind and thinking ability. Confusion moves in and memory takes a vacation." I can't say much confusion has moved in but I have certainly experienced being more distracted than my usual self, my sense of time being distorted, not remembering names, tasks, plans. It is disconcerting. I know I told several people at work that my sense of time seems to be out of whack. Days until a task is due was a concept that nearly eluded me for much of the past year even before Mom died. I also wonder if somewhere along the way anticipatory grief is covered. Maybe it's all one and the same.

This chapter also talks about the loss of friends as people don't know how to "be" with someone experiencing grief. I have not experienced that. That is the upside of continuing at work, choir, bells. I did need to drop my two Bible Study/Covenant groups but I'm feeling fine with that. I can resume both or either when I'm ready. My friends are still my friends regardless of my regular participation. I think I've written before about not wanting the emotional intensity of others right now. That's covered in this chapter too-my attention is not on others but on myself.

Normal, normal, normal.