Saturday, August 29, 2009


Sometimes reading Experiencing Grief by H. Norman Wright is like reading a checklist. Yep, experienced that, and that, and that, and that. Sometimes it's a series of "aha" moments. Chapter 20 will probably be revisited quite a bit. I may read ahead and come back to it.

What I learned in this chapter is that at month 3 you might get hit by grief as if it were new again. March wasn't exactly like that for me but pretty much all I wanted to do was sleep. I think it's a version or expression of grief that fits what the author describes. At months 6-9 you might be experiencing a weakened immune system due to grief. Holy cow! The human body is complex and amazing. The author continues with the caveat that if you're honest in your grief and "doing the work" of grieving and not postponing it the immune hit can be avoided. Might explain the ongoing fatigue of the last couple years. hm. I think I've been pretty healthy this summer and as school starts. Still more tired than I like.

Other specific points in time to be ready for are the anniversary of the death-not there yet but do have holidays to get through. Next labeled are "grief bumps" at 18 months when you find you have mostly good days the sad days can hit harder. And coming up "letting go". I need to reread that part of the chapter. Pretty much everything after 6-9 months needs reviewing and rereading!

This is Mom and her twin. I mentioned when I visited my aunt that Mom didn't seem to like to knit or maybe didn't think she knit well. I don't remember much of her knitting but she did knit a very bright blue striped afghan that lived on the couch for our teen years. I have it somewhere around here. My aunt's reply was that Mom knit very well and used to make dressy gloves. I can guess how difficult gloves would be and it makes me happy that Mom knit. I wish as she raised the 4 of us she would have had more time to knit and to teach us beyond the basics. Maybe we didn't show much interest. Who knows.

Left-Aunt J. Right-Mom

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