Chapter 18

In H. Norman Wright's Experiencing Grief is about handling special occasions. My first thought was that I think we all just get through them. The advice here is to know that you're likely to get a "grief attack". Think ahead and think through how the holiday usually goes and whether or not you think you're ready for the usual. Let people know if you want to make changes. Be gentle with yourself and don't take on all the holiday socializing if you don't feel ready.

Difficult days will be traditional holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries. Discuss with family, discuss with family......

I think ahead to Thanksgiving and Christmas and want to avoid. The last couple years these holidays were such an ordeal. I was either hauling Mom, uncomfortably, and all our gear or hosting. While family did everything they could to make things easier it was never easy either way. So I have that overlay on what seems could be more emotional holidays than usual. We've been through Palm Sunday, Easter, and our birthdays (mom and I are a week apart). I was ok with the church occasions until I other people needed to express their sympathy (or pity). The birthdays were easier. I got special treats, cleaned up and put flowers at the gravesite, and then went on vacation. Seemed to work.

I know we'll all get through the upcoming holidays because we've made it through the previous ones. But I am going to take some time to think through what I think will help me and take a deep breath and tell family.....via e-mail. yes, yes, I'm a chicken!

This is a "Julia".